What if the problems you have now aren’t really problems but instead solutions! Sounds strange doesn’t it! In this post I will talk about how this can actually be the case.
If we can take the example of comfort eating. Imagine a person grows to the age of say 7 years of age without having any real emotional connection to food. Then they fall off their bicycle and hurt themselves (not badly), they are quite distressed. They go to their mother for comfort and safety. Now this is important, when they go to their mother, they are feeling a negative emotion. Their mother comforts them, makes them feel better and gives them a lollipop to stop them crying. The child then experiences a time where they felt bad, then felt good and then had some sweets. If this type of situation happens a few times the child learns that if they feel bad, sweets make them feel better.
Now take a time later in that persons life when they are under stress of some sort. They have some sweets and they both distract themselves from the stress and re-trigger positive feelings from the past as well. Now whenever they feel bad, they know that sweets make them feel better, at least in the short term.
So now they have a solution to feeling bad: sweets! And it does work, it does actually distract and comfort them from whatever they don’t wish to experience. Then as time goes on they perfect that solution so much, that even before a negative emotion comes, they reach for food. For anyone who knows about hypnosis or NLP this is a pattern interrupt. It is at this point where the person never gets a chance to feel the emotion, and therefore is unaware of any emotional aspect to their eating.
Now they put on weight. If they try to use willpower to stop eating sweets, they find themselves unable to do so. The reason being that their subconscious mind is using the sweets as a solution to another problem. So it overrides their willpower and continues the behaviour.
So there it is in a nutshell. A lot of the problems we have were at one time solutions, that we are now unable to stop.